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What is complex trauma?

If you grew up in an environment where you didn't feel safe, loved or cared for – or you experienced abuse – the effects can follow you into adult life. The following are some of the signs of complex trauma:

• Frequently experiencing intense emotions, such as anger or anxiety.

• Finding emotions extremely hard to regulate. You may notice emotional overwhelm or "emotional spiralling". Or, conversely, you may feel emotionally numb and detached.

• Difficulty feeling settled or safe, even when nothing is "wrong".

• Feeling intensely self-critical most or all of the time.

• Feelings of failure or deep shame or guilt. 

• Struggling to trust other people and believing that you will be abandoned.

• Hypervigilance for signs that someone is angry with you or rejecting of you.

• Strongly desiring connection and intimacy but feeling frightened of this and pushing
people away or doing "pre-emptive rejections".

• Letting people get close very easily - or take advantage of you - and struggling
to impose boundaries. 

Can complex trauma be treated?

Yes, together we look at the links between your past and your present. We gently and compassionately make sense of why you feel, think and behave as you do.

 

We may look at your "protector parts" that get triggered in key situations (an IFS process). And we talk about what you would like to be different so you can live life more fully and meaningfully.

 

When you are ready, we develop our EMDR targets - the times in your earlier life when the emotional wounds happened - and we start to process these.

 

Processing key wounds from the past often enables people to let go of deep shame or guilt and develop a different perspective on themselves. They might feel genuine self-compassion and acceptance for the first time. Relationships with others can become healthier too; and boundaries easier to enact.

 

It is important to mention that complex trauma usually takes significantly longer to treat than "single-incident trauma". I may work with clients with complex trauma for months and sometimes years.

 

As well as making memories feel less vivid and upsetting, EMDR and "parts work" can lead to belief change. Beliefs such as "I'm not good enough" and "I'm unloveable" – which got reinforced over and over again in the past – start to lose their power. When you shift to positive belief systems, you start to feel better emotionally and you relate to others in a healthier way.

How much experience do you have with complex trauma?

 

The majority of my clients have complex trauma or elements of relational trauma.

 

I have worked extensively with clients who have experienced neglect and emotional, physical or sexual abuse. This is often in the context of family breakdown, intergenerational trauma, parental problems with drugs or alcohol or parental mental health problems or neurodiversity.

 

I have also worked with many clients who have experienced severe misattunement from parents, extended family or community which has damaged their sense of self-belief and self confidence. 

Is "complex trauma" a formal diagnosis?

Complex trauma is not a formal diagnosis and is often used interchangeably with terms such as attachment trauma, childhood trauma, relational trauma, developmental trauma or interpersonal trauma.

 

What all of these have in common is that they involve repeated or ongoing experiences, rather than a single isolated event. There is also an understanding that these experiences frequently - but not always - involve a failure of care, empathy and support from others; and that this often happens during the formative years of childhood or adolescence.

 

The clinical diagnostic term for complex trauma is cPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder). You can read more about this in by searching for PTSD NICE Guideline NG116. 

© 2026 by Kesta Desmond

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